30 Conversation starters for couples

conversation starters for couples

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After years of dating, with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you feel you know so much about the other person. It could be after years of marriage where you feel like you know all the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. It may feel as if you have exhausted all the topics of discussion and that your relationship has hit a stale point. The truth is that these things do happen; therefore, your situation is not unique. You may have settled into a routine of doing things together. You may also feel like things are not as exciting as they were during courtship. So, if you are looking to re-ignite that spark that attracted you to each other in the years of courtship, then do not worry. We have some conversation starters that are intriguing enough to bring back the mystery and adrenalin rush you felt when learning about your partner in the early years of your relationship.

Funny Conversation starters for couples

It is not all about seriousness. Most times, you need to find things to laugh about with your partner. If you cannot find funny moments to laugh with your partner, then maybe you should not be together. But after many years of dating, these funny laughing moments may be few and far between. You may, therefore, need funny conversation starters that can get the two of you laughing together again.
Read more 100 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

Below are a sample of funny questions and conversation starters.

1. What is the strangest punishment you have ever received from your parents or in school?

Some mothers can convert any utensils into a punishment weapon. See if her mother was one of those who stroked her with a wooden spoon. Some punishments may have been weird, and you probably did not understand the point of the punishment.

2. What is something you love that other people think is gross?

You may think that ketchup on beef stew is gross only to find that she put it her beans for breakfast. You can answer the question too, as something you think is routine may be considered gross.

3. What is the most useless thing that you are good at?

There are things that you or your partner are an expert at; however, that thing happens to be useless and may never help you in life. However, it brings joy to you that you can do it with ease, and others cannot. It could range from poses to speaking sentences backward.

4. What seemed normal in your family when growing up and now seems weird?

There are things that you did in your family in your childhood that seemed normal. But when you look back now, they seem weird and uncalled for. It could be matching pyjamas for the whole family or a ritual before every meal or bedtime. This can provide an opportunity to remember funny moments and bring back the laughter in your relationship.

5. What is the one thing that gets you to ask yourself, ‘why didn’t I start this sooner’?

It may be sport or a skill you are learning and may take some time to master. The opportunity to learn the skill may have been available to you back then, but you opted against it. Now that you are struggling to learn, you get to see many who are a lot better than you simply because they began earlier than you. Sports such as golf and new languages can have that effect on you.

6. If We Could Teleport Anywhere In The World, Right Now, Where Would It Be?

The answer to this question may shock you. Where you may think she would want to visit may not be her most intimate place. Your partner may choose a place they have been before, maybe their childhood home or a rural area where something significant or historic happened.

7. What food best describes your personality?

This light-hearted question can be an excellent conversation starter. You may choose between a luxurious pizza and or maybe a sweet and sour piece of chicken. Reasons why your partner may see themselves as a certain type of food, can shed light on parts of their personality you did not know.

Deep conversation starters for couples

Deep conversation starters can help you connect with your partner on a deep level and understand their core personalities. Some of the questions can help you understand their fears, frustrations, and nature. These questions and conversation starters can also help you know how significant events in the past have had an impact and shaped the lives of your partner.

Below we look at some examples of Deep conversation starters.

8. Would you rather avoid conflict or take it head-on?

This question can explain your genesis of arguments. It will help you figure out if your partner is one who bottles feelings on the inside or one who makes their feelings known.

9. Are you an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert ?

This question can have a misleading answer. Sometimes what we think of ourselves is not what others think of us. The better question would be, do your friends think of you as an introvert, extrovert or ambivert?

10. What are the proudest moments in your career?

Some people define success as the level they have reached in their careers. If your partner is like such, consider asking them this question. Your partner will have some of these moments, and if not, it may get them thinking. You may get insights into what makes your partner love their career so much.

11. What are some of the things you like to do alone?

This may inform you what things she does alone that you can take an interest in and do them together. On the other hand, you can choose not to get involved, and whenever your partner does them, you ensure not to interrupt.

12. How can I help when you are angry?

This comes as a follow up to our question number 11. Most times, we say or do things to our partners when we are angry that only makes things worse. It is informative to get the answer to this question to know how to diffuse a situation when it occurs.

13. What should we do if we do not agree on something crucial?

Be careful with this question as it can be a source of conflict. Many couples defer issues of conflict or disagreements until it becomes their ultimate downfall. It is vital to get an answer on this as it can help you avoid this pitfall since at one point or the other you will disagree on a matter or two

14. What do I often do that annoys you?

There are things that you do that are annoying and may anger your partner. This question can help your partner communicate with you the ideas that he/she find annoying and inform you what not to do or how to avoid annoying your significant other.

15. Which person alive today would you want to meet?

This may be celebrities. From Donald Trump to Kanye West. This question may help you understand the reasons and interests of your partner to want to meet a specific personality. It may be beauty, politics, or sportsmanship.

16. Tell me a passion of yours that no one knows about.

Think you know everything about your partner? This question may get him to know something you don’t know. It may make them open up on dreams and aspirations that are probably yet to be realized or pursued. The most important thing to do in this situation is to listen to it. Listen carefully, no matter how irrelevant or unrelatable their answer might be. It can be a daunting experience to open up; therefore, let your partner feel that they are being appreciated and heard in what they are sharing.

17. What is your favorite memory from your childhood

This is a question that is open-ended and can lead to follow up questions once you obtain answers from your partner. You can also answer the question after getting a response from your partner. It is a great way to connect. No matter the answer your partner gives, it will shed light on their childhood and the impact their upbringing childhood has had on their adult life.

18. Have friends ever been a factor in the break-up of a relationship

The answer to this question can determine the level of influence that your partner’s friends have over your relationship. If there are past relationships that have failed because of friends, then you may want to get on their friends’ good side.

Romantic Conversation starters for couples

These are probably the most important questions to ask in a relationship. Romance is what brought you together in the first place. However, after many years of dating or marriage, the romance may feel pedestrian or absent. Romantic questions and conversations starters can help bring back that fire that made you fall for each other many years ago.

Below are some examples of Romantic conversation starters for couples.

19. What romantic gesture do you love most?

Most men mistakenly use Roses as a gesture of romance. However, it may be necessary to ask this question as not all girls are the same. Some may prefer something different. Ensure to understand your woman and vice versa. This will make you invest in the right gestures that will impress your partner.

20. What kind of touch best say ‘I love you too’?

You may be giving her a peck or kiss on the cheek, yet she prefers hugs. It is essential to know what gestures your partners love and appreciate. These are the gestures you need to invest in.

21. Of the dates we have been on, which was your favorite?

You may have been on many dates with your spouse. Some were amazing, while others were just average. It is crucial to understand and know why they considered one date better than the other to know what to invest in while on a date.

22. What is the most awkward sexual experience you have ever had?

This is a question for those who feel that they are very secure in their relationship and have established that it is okay to chatter into the territory of past relationships. The exciting thing with this question is that it can open up to a myriad of many other questions. It may shock you, and your partner may express horror or embarrassment, but the one thing that is for sure is that this will be fun to hear.

23. Tell me how to be a better partner to you?

This is an open-ended question and can bring the two of you closer together. You should feel free also to answer the question on your partner that can be better for you. This is an exercise that can be done once every few weeks or months to strengthen your bond.

24. What is the best way to show affection?

Your partner may be significant on affection or maybe shy about it. It is vital to get the answer to this question, such as to ensure you manage your expectation.

Intimate conversation starters for couples

Intimacy is critical for couples. It is what fuels the relationship. In case you feel that intimacy in your relationship has become weak or routine. Intimate questions and conversations starters can help bring your relationship back on track and bring back the spark in your relationship.

Below we examine some intimate questions and conversation starters.

25. What is the one thing you remember of the day we first met?

This question can help you know the one thing that is instantly recognizable and attractive about you. It can inform you what to keep doing as you know it is the main thing that got your spouse hooked in the first place.

26. What did you hate about your last relationship and pushed you to end things?

Take your time on this one. You may have just opened a Pandora’s Box. However, it is vital to get the answer to this question as it will inform you what to do and, more importantly, what not to do.

27. What crazy thing do you wish to try one day?

Well, we only live once. This question can help you understand the things that would make life worth it for your partner. It may range from sexual experience to activity on their bucket list. Pay close attention to this one since it may translate to the best surprise your partner could ever want.

28. What are some of the things I do that you think is sexy?

This question helps you understand what he likes and considers attractive. It may be mundane things that you do subconsciously without the list of your knowledge. For instance, it may be how you rub your nose when you sneeze and may make you realize the little things he notices and may make ;;you understand the small things that make him stay in love with you.

29. Which memory from our early days of dating are most memorable for you?

Reminiscing about your earlier days can remind you of what you liked about each other and what attracted you to your partner in the first place. You can then try and recreate some of those memories. This question reminds both of you of why you got together in the first place.

30. What are your best memories with your best friend?

You may not understand your partner’s best friends or why he/she is friends with them in the first place. The reason for their relationship may be a mystery, and it may be useful to find out the history between them. I guarantee there are some funny and exciting times between the two. People love to talk about themselves, and this question may get them to open up about things you were not aware of.


Every relationship starts with fireworks and daydreaming about your lover. But as time goes by, the spark may begin to fade away. You may be falling hard for each other, and before long, the conversation diminishes to ‘what’s for dinner’? It is, therefore, vital to ask questions and have within you an arsenal of conversation starters that are well-timed. These questions can help you explore the personality of your spouse even further and create a deeper understanding of your relationship. You may get to know traumas experienced in the past that may have an effect on your spouse’s opinions on various matters. It can also help explain some divergent views that your spouse may have that you strongly disagree with.

I, therefore, recommend that you go through this exercise and answer some of these questions. The activity can be done after sometime say once every quarter or half-year. This can also help inform a shift in personality and points of view as both of you are growing. Use the suggestion of conversation started above to introduce you to this space. However, feel free to add your questions to suit your situation.

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