One would wonder, what is a fake relationship? A fake relationship is one that does not have a future. You are probably in such a fake relationship because you cannot move on or afraid to move on. Internally, you are persuaded that things will change for the better. Many are not aware that they are in fake relationships, but how can you tell?
How fake relationships occur
Relationships are unique in their ways. But there is that narrative that leads to a fake relationship.
There is someone that is genuinely looking for love. Once found, they commit to another that seems to reciprocate the affection and love to them. The moment the commitment is made, everything goes on fine, but for a while. When the first spark of the relationship fades, it starts to transform into the true character.
Regrettably, there is one partner that has invested their emotions in the relationship. They are ready to do anything to make it work. The other person is, meanwhile, disinterested. Therefore, they will leave all the essential things to be handled by their partner.
Such a case can be infuriating, saddening, and depressing to the party determined to make things work in the relationship.
10 Signs You’re In a Fake Relationship
But what makes it difficult for someone to read the signs and exit a fake relationship? Various things make a victim not to exit the relationship. These things include; perception from close friends and family, being left alone, and admittance of failure. To get out of that fake relationship, you need to be sober enough and face the truth, no matter how uncomfortable.
This is the first sign that you need to look out for. There are those instances that you are not together, and you need to see if there is consistency in your communication. For a healthy relationship, good communication is vital. When your partner is away, is there any attempt that is made to communicate? Are your calls and text messages returned or answered?
In a fake relationship, fakers tend not to communicate. As such, they will provide scanty information of what is going on in their life. When they are countered on the non-communication aspect, they will come up with non-sensible excuses. In most instances, these excuses are the same over and over again. As someone who wants to make the relationship work, you view these excuses as non-issues. You try your best to maintain regular communication.
Synonymous with emotional absence is too much public display affection. You will find that there is pressure to prove that you love each other when you are around your friends. As such, you show too much PDA. As soon as you are in private, everything changes.
Lack of or little romance
One of the critical pillars of a relationship is romance. The lack of romance signifies that there is no attraction to your partner. The victims are always the initiators of intimacy, but such gestures are usually in vain. On the extreme, forced intimacy is evident when there is a lack of interest or passion. A real and healthy relationship has both partners that are attracted to each other.
Constant and unresolved conflicts
Every relationship faces challenges, and this includes conflicts. The presence of quarrels is a result of varied interests. Important to note is that when there are recurrent conflicts, it shows that the relationship is healthy. Intermittent clashes show love and care for each other.
However, it is good that when there is a conflict, a resolution should be found. Now, you will know you are in a fake relationship when you are the one that spearheads conflict resolution. In extreme scenarios, you are always the one that takes the blame for mistakes. When your partner disagrees on a solution, it shows they are not interested, and they are emotionally detached!
A partner that is a faker will always be ready to throw in the towel. They do not care whether your relationship works or fails.
Lack of initiative in handling duties and responsibilities
There are specific questions that you should always ask yourself when you suspect that you are in a fake relationship. Are you the one to always plan and coordinate things? Does your partner handle any domestic duties? What initiatives has your partner taken to make you comfortable?
When you find that all the answers pointing back at you, there is a problem. When there is a lack of effort in a relationship, that signifies a lack of interest.
Lack of genuine concern on what you are thinking or feeling
When two people are in a healthy, genuine relationship, they should tell when their significant other is stressed or low. Being in a relationship is all about knowing one another and striving to make each other lively and comfortable.
However, there are instances when things get out of hand, and you find yourself at crossroads. They should tell when your mind is not settled and try to comfort you with the right partner. Inquiring about your partner’s nature is a crucial feature of communication. Your partner needs to know what is going on, even when it is nothing serious.
A question that you should consider asking yourself is when your partner last checked on you. Did they ever call to inquire how your day is or how you are feeling?
Your future is shaky.
As earlier stated, a fake relationship is one that lacks direction and a future. For your relationship to be genuine and healthy, many of your discussions should touch on the end.
When you notice that your partner is avoiding such a conversation, there are two things at hand. One of them is that they have never thought of that with you. The second reason is they are not interested in a future with you. Managing to read these signs is a crucial thing as they are ominous signs.
Lack of sync in most things
You will have a passion for one another when you are in a healthy relationship. For a fake relationship, there are significant indifferences witnessed. The lack of common goals in a relationship makes it unsustainable.
The signs that your partner is not passionate about you stems from their detachment and disengagement acts.
You are always uncomfortable
Being in a relationship means building your trust and confidence in your significant other. Nevertheless, there are most instances when you feel uncomfortable with yourself. This shows that you are not portraying your real self to your partner.
In case you are not comfortable with yourself in the presence of your girlfriend or boyfriend, there is no point in a relationship. You will be committing self-abuse when you have to always fake it so that someone can accommodate you.
How can you put up with such? It will be awesome if you establish someone that you are comfortable being around.
Your partner is withdrawn.
There are those introverts that display features of silence and reserve. Though, this should not be confused with those partners that are aloof and withdrawn. For introverted people always cheer up when they are close to the person that they love.
Such traits of coldness and withdrawal are common signs that you are in a fake relationship.
Your conscience tells you something is wrong.
In most instances, you will know when someone does not love you. There is that gut feeling, otherwise known as the sixth sense, that pricks you every time.
Your gut will save you when you do not know what to do. It comes to a point when you should be honest with yourself. Ask yourself. Are you wasting your time, money, energy, and resources on a person who will never return the favor?
There could be something that makes them stick around. You can take a few days and see what it is. It could be o the money or some fake reason. Try withdrawing these goodies or services and see if they still stick around.
How to end a fake relationship
When you find yourself in a fake relationship, there are strategies that you can employ to end it. These tips are to help you to complete it for good and go on with your life.
Do not mistake your love.
Some get confused when it comes to addiction and love. For a healthy relationship, there are other qualities that it attracts. These include trust, commitment, and respect. These traits keep your relationship going when the passion for each other is not at the forefront.
For addictive love, the end goal is to get the highs, no matter what it costs. When you are trying to get from a fake relationship, you need to reframe your emotions and opinion about that person. Through this, you will get a healthy distance from that toxic relationship.
Get a break
Your family and friends might fall into two major categories. The first group is that which comforts you. The reassurance you get is that everything will be okay in the end. The other group is one which makes you feel bad about yourself. How crazy were you to stay with such a loser? In both instances, you can find yourself in a dilemma.
One of the best ways to encourage and comfort yourself is to have self-compassion. This aspect soothes your soul. You will understand that you are not horrible and that it is normal to be attached to disconnected people. That many people have undergone such a thing.
Self-compassion means that you place yourself first. As such, you will care and undertake what is best for yourself. Just as parents would always want the best for their child, you will not want to be in a hurting relationship.
Invent a plan
You will make long-lasting changes when you have a plan. Through a program that you achieve your goals, avoid temptations and those that will discourage you. When you are lonely and feel like feeling that person, a plan in place will help you.
Having a plan will assist you to stick to the rules. This plan should have proper distractions. What will make you feel good is to watch a movie, talk to a good friend, or listen to your favorite album. Getting to practice this for a long time will make it easy for you to battle the old pattern.
Resist cognitive dissonance
Your mind has a way of making you feel better after you have a stupid decision. This occurrence is referred to as cognitive dissonance. This is why you find yourself in those groups that are hurting. This phenomenon also manifests when you take back the job that you once turned down.
This is also the reason why you cannot break free from a fake relationship. You need to finally decide to end a toxic relationship by understanding that it did not work out. You have to be aware of what your mind can push you to. Find ways or tricks that will help you avoid this trap.
Own your decisions
It can be a struggle to end a relationship. The situation is also made worse when you have to do it alone. Therefore, you need an excellent support team that will track your steps. The team should also help you to engage in better activities. Getting distracted with better-consuming activities is an excellent way to release pressure.
Consider finding a counselor that will help you to discover yourself. An experienced counselor is your best bet. They might have dealt with similar cases before and will advise you appropriately. When every other thing fails, summon yourself. Ask yourself what you want. Only you identify the answer.
In conclusion, relationships are not limited. You do not have to stay in a relationship that is taking away the best from you. A happy relationship is one that is unselfish and nurtures you. You should not treat your current fake relationship as your last hope. Find a relationship that you enjoy!