A girlfriend is someone who you can confide in. Men have always needed a helper and a companion. In the Bible, Adam asked God for a helper. God saw how much the young man was struggling and created a woman to help and keep him company. Therefore it is a very natural process for a man to seek a girlfriend. In modern society, many social-economic situations have created diverging personalities. These personalities can be the source of conflict between couples. It is, therefore, vital to understand your girlfriend’s nature, socio-economic background, and political opinions to decide whether these can be a source of conflict. Relationships have sometimes deteriorated to the level of physical and psychological torture between couples. It sometimes worsens to murder, where one spouse kills the other. It is, therefore, important to ask your girlfriend questions that can help you inform the direction in which your relationship is headed or at least figure out some possible sources of disagreement and conflict. This way, you can get to decide whether the relationship is worth investing in or whether to end it soon.
Some questions can be sensitive, so you need to choose the right timing; otherwise, they may lead to suspicion or annoy your girlfriend. Others are easy, and can be asked randomly, say over a meal.
Below I have sampled several questions that you can ask your girlfriend followed by a short commentary on the objectives and intentions of the subject and how to interpret the answers that she gives. I have also added other questions which are not accompanied by a commentary.
Remember, she does not have to agree with your opinion or give the answer you would like to hear. You just have to figure out whether the contrary opinion or answer she provides is crucial enough to you for it to become a source of conflict in the future.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, how do you imagine the rest of your life if everything were to be perfect?
This question helps you figure out what and where she sees her life assuming everything went on correctly. You can then align what is a perfect experience for her and your own goals and ambitions. For example, your goal or definition of a perfect life may be to travel the world with nothing but a bag pack and with the least of care about global geopolitics. If her answer is to build a big corporate business and have several children, then the two of you have something to talk about and figure out.
What is your idea of a regular day in your perfect life?
Just like the question above, this question can help you figure out whether your ambitions and hers are in line.
What is your idea of the role of a woman in a relationship? And that of a man in a relationship?
This helps you understand her views on her expectations and contributions to the relationship. It enables you to know if the two of you are on the same page as far as roles are concerned. If she gives an answer that is contrary to what you think the tasks should be, then you will need to discuss it and sort that out before you go further into the relationship.
Do you feel that roles should change once a couple gets married or moves in together?
This question, just like the ones above, helps you see if you’re your expectations are aligned. If you happen to have a traditional view on this question and she happens to have a more progressive look, then this can be a significant source of conflict. You will need to discuss this and come to an understanding before investing further in the relationship.
How many kids would you want to have in the future?
This question helps you understand her views on kids and family. It enables you to understand whether your expectations are in line.
These questions may sometimes be uncomfortable, depending on the personality of your girlfriend. You may get more honest answers out of her when playing a dirty game or when she is drunk or high. You will need to know the answers to sexual questions at one point or the other. Sex is an essential thing in a relationship and one of the primary sources of conflict. Whether it’s a question of “would you prefer” or “have you ever,” it is crucial to understand your girlfriend’s sexual fantasies. Sexual fantasies can differ, and there may not be clear rules on what is good or bad. It all depends on what both of you define as good. Below are some of the questions that can be used as a conversation starter to help you understand her views and fantasies,
What is your favorite pair of underwear?
This is an important question as it defines her views on sexual matters. If she is a conservative girl, then she may choose some traditional underwear. However, if she is one who enjoys exploring her sexuality, she may select a more revealing pair of underwear or lingerie.
How many people have you had sex with in your life?
This is the kind of question you may want to ask delicately and cleverly. More often than not, she will not be honest, especially if the number is on the higher side. Therefore ensure to ask this question in a more relaxed environment where she will not feel judged. A sex game or drinking game can help create a more realistic environment to get an accurate answer to this question.
Do you prefer to give or receive?
This question helps you ensure that her sexual desires are met. The onus is on the man to ensure his girlfriend is sexually satisfied. Some girls enjoy the man doing all the work, whereas others prefer to be the dominant one. It is, therefore, essential to know the answer to this question to ensure you are not selfish when it comes to matters of sex.
Where on your body is your favorite place to be touched?
Do you watch porn, if you do, what kind?
What is your favorite position?
These are questions that relate to the intimate relationship between the two of you. It helps you know how to cultivate the love and feelings that you have for each other and how to invest in your relationship and ensure you keep the fire burning between you two.
What is your idea of a romantic honeymoon?
This can help you plan and budget for what you think she will appreciate. Sometimes a man can put effort into things like buying her jewelry and taking her out to expensive dinners. That may not be what she values. The answer to this question can help you invest your time and money in things that will make her love and affection for you grow stronger.
What are your views on kissing in public?
This is a good question, as it can be a significant source of conflict. If she enjoys public displays of affection and you do not, she may think you are embarrassed and do not want to be seen in public as a couple. The vice versa is also true. If she doesn’t like Public Displays of Affection and you kiss her in public, she may react in a way that may make you think she is embarrassed to be with you in public
Which song do you think captures our relationship?
Answers to a question like this can communicate a powerful message of how she feels and what she thinks of your relationship. Messages contained in some lyrics can help express feelings that are difficult to put in words. Therefore, a question on songs and music can be quite an eye-opener.
When did you first fall in love with me?
You did identify and approach her. She may not have liked you the first time you met. It is essential to know when and where exactly she first fell in love with you and what made her change her mind and attitude towards you and eventually fall in love with you. Ensure to keep that part of you alive throughout the relationship.
What is the best surprise you have ever had?
Name three of your most memorable moments from our relationship
Now whether we want to admit it or not, there is a part of us that is dirty in a sexual nature. A piece that wants to explore things that may be considered weird or ‘not normal’ in human behavior. We need to explore this side of us as long as we do not break any laws in the process.
What is the dirtiest thought you have ever had about anyone?
This can be an informative question to help you understand where her thoughts are in terms of sexual fantasies.
In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?
This question can help you understand what it is that you should put more effort in to satisfy her sexual fantasies. We only live once, and at some point, we will want to explore our sexual fantasies.
This can help inform how far her thoughts travel in terms of dirty thoughts
Have you ever cheated on your boyfriend? What motivated you to do it?
This question may not necessarily be dirty, but it can help inform you of what issues she was trying to sort out by having sex with someone else. It may be dirty, as she felt someone else would meet her sexual desires better than her boyfriend at the time.
What do you do if you get horny in public?
Who gave you your first orgasm?
What is the most sexually daring thing you have ever done?
Also read : 14 Deep questions to ask your girlfriend
These questions can help you and your partner connect on a deeper level. It makes you aware of her insecurities, passions, regrets, dislikes, traumas, etc. An open and honest conversation can help bring the two of you closer. You need to feel safe in being vulnerable with her and vice versa. It helps explain some of the views she might have of life. By being empathetic to some of the things she has had to go through can help you connect with her on a deeper level than just love and sex. As the saying goes, sometimes love is not enough.
What is the hardest life lesson you have had to learn?
The answer to this question will more often than not shock you. This takes away social conventions and politically correct statements. This question allows her to take away the lessons she knows and tells you the one that a life experience taught her.
If you had three months to live, how would you spend them?
This allows you to take away daily routines and obligations and identify the essential things in life. You will get to know what she holds close to her heart and what is of sentimental value to her.
What do you consider unforgivable?
This question informs you of where not to cross her. You get to understand what can be a deal-breaker and what can hurt her the most. Therefore, with this information, you get to know what never to do or say that will hurt her. Some experiences can hurt her so deep that she may carry with her for the rest of her life.
What would you write to your younger self?
This can help you understand her regrets and mistakes that she has gone through in her life. What she would not do in respect to life lessons she has learned along the way.
If you have one word to describe our relationship, what would it be?
Do you follow your head or your heart when making decisions?
What is the one difference between us that you love?
What is the one similarity between us that you love?
What is the one secret that you would want to tell but are scared to?
What is the one thing you want to know about me but are scared to ask?
If you could change one thing about our relationship, what would it be?
These are questions that left an impression on her. These questions can help inform opinions and views that she may have on different issues. It also tells of ideas or impressions she was left with over a situation.
Have you ever demonstrated and participated in a boycott?
This is important to know what issues were of significant importance to warrant a boycott.
What are you most passionate about?
This can help you understand her interests and what exactly she has an emotional attachment to. You can ask her to elaborate further on why she is passionate about that course.
Which places have you visited that impressed you?
What was your first impression of me when we met?
If you died today, what would be your greatest achievement?
Flirty questions are mostly relevant when courting a girl. It can be scary and nerve-wracking to approach the girl you have had a crush on for some time. Worse is what to say or how to keep the conversation going. The best way to keep a conversation going is by asking questions, preferably flirty ones that will get her to talk about herself at the same time, let her know that you are interested in her.
I don’t know what makes me crazy about you? Do you?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
What’s the one thing you can talk about forever?
Do you think pride is a fault or a virtue?
What is your obsession?
It is normal human nature to seek companionship. To cultivate a relationship takes a lot of work, and you must be willing to put in the work. Questions help in gathering information about your girlfriend to understand how much you can invest in the relationship. Sometimes answers that you may get from her can inform you to end the relationship on the spot. Other times it may inform you to invest in it for the long term.
It is essential to ask questions to ensure there are no misunderstandings or misconceptions about her nature or personality. It is not always that her answers must be aligned with yours. More often than not, she will give you answers that may not be what you wanted to hear. You just need to figure out whether that is important enough an issue to be a deal-breaker.
My advice is that you were attracted to her for a reason. You fell in love with her for a reason. Focus more on what brings you together rather than what divides you. Try and be understanding of her views on life. Life experiences, traumas, and lessons can change your perspective on life. Work with her views and opinions. It is okay to agree to disagree on some issues.