Saying goodbye to someone who has been a major part of your existence is never easy, but it’s an unavoidable a part of life. People fall in love, it doesn’t work out, and each participant moves on. Well, most of the time, anyway. Sometimes, although you may have gone through the ‘breakup’ steps, you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach – that maybe it’s not completely over after all, at least on their end. But, how do you know for sure? Hiding true emotions is never foolproof and the signs are there, as subtle as they may be. Here are 9 sure-fire signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
1. The Ex Keeps Sneaking Glances
There is a good chance that at some point you will end up running into your ex during some social engagement. Even if they do not approach you, certain signs and body language can say quite a bit. If you notice that, while in the same company as your ex, he/she keeps sneaking small glances at you, some old feelings might be coming back. Or, they never left in the first place.
2. Making an Over-The-Top Show Of It
Going out of his or her way to make you think that they are happy or moving on, is a common sign that the ex is simply pretending to be over you. In essence, they are trying to get a rise out of you, seeking your attention, and/or just wanting to make you jealous.
3. He/She Shows Subtle Signs Of Jealousy
Speaking of jealousy, an ex that has, in fact, not moved on will often show subtle signs of jealousy. This could be towards something as innocent as deciding to hang out with a friend, especially one of the opposite sex. If your ex is still showing jealousy towards you, it strongly suggests that they are just pretending to be over you.
4. The Rebound
This one can be tricky because obviously an ex that has truly moved on could find a new partner – and be absolutely genuine about it. However, if the new relationship seems to be moving suspiciously fast, the rebound is not exactly the ‘type’ your ex usually goes for, or they are making a huge show of how happy and in love they are, it could very well be his or her way of pretending feelings no longer exist (but they actually do).
5. You Catch Them Cyber-Stalking
As creepy as it sounds, this is becoming more and more common with the explosion of social media. Exes that are only pretending to be over their former partner will quite literally cyber-stalk your social media pages. This is their way of keeping up with what is going on in your life as well as a way for them to maintain some kind of contact with you.
6. They are Refusing to Return Belongings or ‘Forgetting’ to Do So
Hanging onto what amounts as keepsakes of your relationship is a tell-tale sign of someone not completely over you. When you can’t get them to commit to a time for pick up or they simply just refuse to return your stuff, it typically alludes to some sort of emotional attachment. Although they may want to convince the world otherwise, refusing or ‘forgetting’ to return your belongings likely means being over you is all an act.
7. They Haven’t Had ’The Time’ to Retrieve Their Belongings
You have brought it up several times but your ex never makes an effort to pick any belongings that have been left at your home, or in your car, etc. This might be a way of keeping contact with you. An ex that still has not gotten around to picking up the belongings that they left at your house, is an ex that is probably not over you.
8. Pushing to Be Friends
A previous love that goes out of their way to hold onto a ‘friendship’ between the two of you, is likely not truly over their feelings for you. They show up where they know you’ll be or try to get together, ya know, ‘just as friends’ – Continuing to want to spend time with a previous significant other means it is highly likely that there are lingering emotions still festering.
9. Inquiring Minds Want to Know
It is not unusual to have a mutual group of friends while in a relationship, and those friends do not just up and vanish because you broke up. And, now, these friends have said that your ex keeps inquiring about you – asking how you are, what you’ve been doing, or who you’ve been with. Regardless of what your ex tells you, if he or she still asks about you regularly, through mutual friends or acquaintances, there’s a very good chance that the ex is only pretending to be over you.
Signs That Your Ex is Pretending to Be Over You Through Text message
Many exes resort to communicating mainly through text messaging, so how do you tell if your ex is pretending to be over you through text? It can be a bit more difficult to decipher than face to face contact but is not impossible. The frequency of the messages, the tone, even the time of day that they are sent can be a huge indicator that your ex is, in fact, not really over you or the relationship.
How Do You Tell If Your Ex Is Pretending to Be Over You
Variations in both personality and experience can mean that the signs might differ from relationship to relationship but the above is fairly universal. However, it is ultimately as simple as listening to your intuition, the feeling that you get in your gut. The easiest way to tell if your ex is pretending to be over you is by listening to your own instincts. If you feel that he or she is just pretending to actually be over the relationship – you’re probably right.
The fact that you are even contemplating that your ex is merely pretending to be over your relationship hints to the fact you are not likely over it either. If you have been noticing these signs, the next course of action should be open communication. Talk to your ex, get it all out in the open. No matter the end goal, whether you want to try again or not, it is best that you both make your intentions apparent. It could be the start of something beautiful or at least give closure so that everyone can really move on, and with a clear conscious.